The first season of The Grand Tour comes to a close tonight and this one will appeal to mud lovers everywhere! Series 1 Episode 13 features James May as a Winch bitch at a Muddy Bottom punch hunt.
“This is the sort of countryside where people can do nice things like go for a walk or a picnic” says James may, referring to some rather nice looking green fields.
When James May appears on Camera he is ankle deep in mud….
“However this is my home for the day…. Mud, I love mud” He says sarcastically. He is actually at Muddy Bottoms pay and play site.
James gets to grips with his role in the punch hunt, ” These people behind me are called winchers & what they like doing is winching, they will drive into something like that puddle over there until they get stuck and they winch themselves out, and when they done that they will do it again” He explains in bemusement.
James meets his driver, Seamus Doyle who explains to James exactly whats required of him during the punch hunt. ” There’s 50 punches dotted around in different parts of the site. You have a punch card on the side of the vehicle here, you got to get this punch card, to the punch” he explains.
“The punch will be on a string maybe two feet long from the tree or maybe one foot. You got to punch the number.” Says Seamus.
“When you get stuck, because your gonna get stuck, I have to get out and attach the winch to the tree?” asks James
“Yes, you take your strap with you, the strap that goes around the tree to protect the tree, then you bring your winch rope up to the tree or whatever you are going to attach it to, I’ll operate the buttons” Seamus says proudly!
“As soon as the contest began, Seamus made it plain that my new role in life was to be his Winch Bitch….” Says a rather miserable looking James May.
Even after all the briefing James shows a real reluctance to get out of the truck when it gets stuck for the first time in a deep muddy puddle.
“Ok ya gotta GO, GO, GO” Shouts Seamus as James just sits there looking at the water coming into the cab around his feet.
“What I gotta get out, where the hell do you think I’m gonna go?” asks James.
When he takes the winch rope and starts wading through the water he shouts “Aw man, this is like being a f*****g hippopotamus!!” Immediately after he falls on his back into the bog, to which Seamus responds ” Come on, clock is ticking.”
James got his first punch and lived in hope that the day may get easier, however he was wrong.
We get to see James May wading through water waist deep, falling over many times and generally getting lagged, everything he hates. He tries rebelling and making Seamus his ‘Winch Bitch’ but gets told “No, it doesn’t work that way.”
James says that he would rather be at home self harming than doing this punch hunt, Seamus tries to cheer him up by telling him that at least they wont come last, one of the trucks broke down hours before!
If you find someone falling over in mud repeatedly, getting splashed in muddy water and generally tormented, then do not miss this episode.